“Resting bitch voice”: honoring my anger as an Asian American woman and rejecting the fiction of respectability

You have resting bitch voice.

Why are you so angry?


Being a woman of color in this world means enduring both racial and sexual objectification. Yet when we subjectify ourselves—and when we call for the subjectification of our fellow humans, we are often labeled as angry.

This label comes in different variations for different women of color. For me, as an Asian American woman, and specifically an East Asian woman, I am labeled an angry bitch because I challenge the stereotype of submissiveness.

When I speak out about social injustice, I am not docile. When I criticize oppressors, I am not nice (which is not the same as being kind). Because I am not docile or nice, I must be angry.

For example, being vocal about social injustice made me a polarizing figure in school. Depending on whom you spoke to, I was either an energizing pot-stirrer or an angry bitch. Perhaps more people believed the latter: in less than a year, I went from winning the election for class president to finishing in last place in the following election.

Even my then-partner became uncomfortable. He had once admired my outspokenness (who doesn’t love a “strong woman” … until she challenges you?). But now he asked, Why do you make everything so political?—oblivious to the utter privilege of being able to choose not to be political. I don’t want this kind of life, he said. So he left.

I was devastated. My own family had long warned me that I needed to make myself “softer” in order to be likeable (and marriageable!). And here, it seemed that they were right after all.

But I have never regretted my choices to speak the truth.

As women of color, we are taught to suppress our anger, or else it will incur their anger—i.e., [white] [male] anger.

That our anger (which is unreasonable) must be swallowed because it provokes their anger (which is reasonable).

That our tears (which are unsympathetic) must be quelled because they provoke their tears (which are sympathetic).

But I reject this fiction.

Not all anger is created equal.

They may be angry because I am angry. But while my anger seeks to secure justice, theirs seeks to preserve dominance. My anger embraces revolutionary hope; theirs reactionary fragility. They are not the same.

As Nayyirah Waheed has masterfully explained:

might make them angry.
it will make you free.
— if no one has ever told, your freedom is more important than their anger.

And so I choose to honor my anger. Because my freedom—and our collective freedom—will always be more important than their anger.

Anger can also be an act of self-love.

In a world where anger is still a privilege granted to some and a label weaponized against others, my anger is a self-affirming choice to preserve my values and my truth—to name the world as I see it—even if it is met with rejection.

The woman you’re becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose her over everything. — Anonymous

I carry these words with me every day as a reminder to choose myself even if it is difficult, even if it comes with a cost.

And when the costs of anger seem too difficult to bear, I re-read the words of the inimitable Audre Lorde, who taught us that our silence cannot protect us:

What are the words you do not have yet? What do you need to say? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day … ?

Our speaking out will irritate some people, get us called bitchy or hypersensitive and disrupt some dinner parties. And then our speaking out will permit other women to speak, until laws are changed and lives are saved and the world is altered forever.

So I continue to name tyrannies, it continues to irritate people, and they continue to call me a bitch. I continue to lose people, spaces, and material things. The people hurt the most—but less so each time.

Because the more I speak, the more women and people of all genders have come to me—in real life and online (“irl and url”)—to tell me how my anger has permitted them to be angry, how my speaking out has permitted them to speak out. Through them, I have learned to love my anger.

There is a beautiful freedom in locating the words that I once did not have, yet urgently needed to say:

Respectability is a white supremacist, patriarchal project.

Likeability is not the measure of a meaningful life.

Palatability is not a useful goal.

I reject them all.

I honor my anger.

I honor my freedom.

I honor us.

I honor me.

Originally published by the National Women’s Law Center

Betsy DeVos is at it again with Title IX

Betsy DeVos is at it again. Three months after the New York Times leaked a draft of her proposed rules on sexual harassment and violence, the Department of Education officially published the proposed rules on November 29, 2018. Remarkably, DeVos’s proposed rules are even more dangerous than her already-terrible September 2017 guidance, which gave special rights to alleged harassers and rapists, rolled back protections for survivors, and created contradictory and confusing rules for schools.

You might be wondering, Is it even possible to further eviscerate Title IX? (Relatedly, is it ever necessary to own 10 yachts?) The answer to both questions is, unfortunately, yes.

DeVos’s proposed rules would actually encourage schools to ignore survivors when they ask for help—effectively, to aid and abet the Larry Nassars and Jerry Sanduskys of the world. If the proposed rules go into effect, they would encourage—and even require—schools to be complicit in sexual harassment and violence. Here’s how:

Only the worst cases of sexual harassment would count as “sexual harassment.”

For almost 40 years, federal law has defined sexual harassment as any unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature. This means that when students (or employees) experience sexual harassment, they don’t have to suffer in silence or wait for it to become “bad enough” to report. Sexual harassment should never be allowed to continue unchecked.

But under DeVos’s new dystopian definition, sexual harassment wouldn’t count as “sexual harassment” unless: (i) an employee is requesting sexual favors in return for good grades or other educational benefits; (ii) the harassment qualifies as sexual assault; or (iii) the harassment is so severe and pervasive that it “denies” a student of their equal access to education—e.g., if the student has been forced to drop out of a class or out of school altogether. In fact, if a Title IX complaint doesn’t meet these narrow standards, schools would be forced (yes, forced) to dismiss the complaint. That means many students would be forced to endure repeated and escalating levels of abuse without being able to ask their schools for help. By the time their school would be legally required to intervene, it might be too late—the student might already be ineligible for an important AP course, disqualified from a dream college, or derailed from graduating altogether.

2. Few school employees would be responsible for addressing sexual harassment.

If you tell your guidance counselor, track coach, or college RA that you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted, you’d expect them to do something about it. But under DeVos’s proposed rules, the vast majority of school employees would no longer have to do anything—because they don’t have the “authority to institute corrective measures.”

Now, DeVos hasn’t clearly defined what “authority to institute corrective measures” means. So in order to ensure that they talk to the “right” person, K-12 students would have to go to their Title IX coordinator (if they even know who that is) or to a teacher (but only if their harasser is another student—not an employee!). And college students would only be able to turn to their Title IX coordinator if they want to be sure they would get help. Imagine being 8 years old and not being able to tell an adult you trust—like a playground supervisor or guidance counselor—about your assault. Imagine being 18 years old and being forced to talk about your rape with a complete stranger, instead of a TA you trust or your RA who lives down the hall.

DeVos’s proposed rules would absolve even the worst Title IX offenders of legal liability. Colleges like Michigan State and Penn State would have had no responsibility to stop Larry Nassar and Jerry Sandusky—just because their victims reported their experiences to school employees who didn’t have “authority to institute corrective measures.”

3. Only a fraction of online and off-campus sexual harassment would be covered by Title IX.

In the year of our Lorde (and I mean Audre Lorde) 2018, no one actually believes that students live discrete, compartmentalized lives at school and outside of school. Students learn and interact with one another all the time—in the classroom, online, and off campus. But DeVos’s proposed rules would require (yes, require) schools to ignore all Title IX complaints of off-campus harassment or violence that happen outside of a school-sponsored program, even if the student is forced to see their harasser or rapist on campus every day.

That means if a middle school student is being sexually harassed by her classmates on Instagram or Snapchat, her school would be required to ignore her—even if she has to sit next to her harassers at school. If a college student is raped in off-campus student housing or at an off-campus fraternity not recognized by her school, her college wouldn’t need to investigate—even if she sees her rapist every day in their class, dining hall, or residential hallway. Not to mention, community colleges would be almost completely off the hook, since none of their students live on campus.


DeVos’s proposed rules are a complete abdication of the Department’s responsibility to keep students safe. But don’t just take it from me—take it from students at schools where her proposed rules are already in place. Take it from Francesca, a high school survivor and NWLC client, who was told that seeing her attempted rapist at school every day wasn’t bad enough or “hostile” enough to count as ‘sexual harassment.” Take it from DarbiAnne Goodwin, a high school survivor and NWLC client, who was raped off campus and then pushed into an inferior “alternative school” because her school refused to investigate off-campus sexual harassment. Take it from Sage Carson, a college survivor and current manager of Know Your IX, who dropped her Title IX complaint because her school used some of the same traumatizing investigation procedures that DeVos is proposing to make national.

Here’s how you can stop Betsy DeVos. And it just takes 10 minutes. I know you have 10 minutes. 

DeVos’s proposed rules are horrible, but thankfully, they’re just a proposal. We still have the opportunity to stop Betsy DeVos through a rulemaking process called “notice and comment,” where anyone—and I mean anyone—can write directly to DeVos to tell her what you think about Title IX.

The notice and comment process is a 60-day period that starts on November 29, 2018 and ends on January 28, 2019. Here’s what you can do to fight back:

  1. Take 1 minute to sign this petition asking DeVos to extend the 60-day comment period so that students and educators have enough time to write comments outside of final exams and winter break.
  2. Take 4 minutes to learn how to write a comment to DeVos.
  3. Take 5 minutes (or as much time as you need) to write your comment! It can be as short or as detailed as you like. Just make sure it includes something unique from you.

That’s it! Thank you for joining the fight! And if you’re in the mood, feel free to tweet at her:

For once in your life, do your ***** job, Betsy DeVos.

Originally published by the National Women’s Law Center

I want a justice who wants justice.

Re: Brett Kavanaugh’s Wall Street Journal op ed claiming he would be an “impartial” and “pro-law” justice.

It’s absolute bullshit to be “pro-law.” The law is not neutral. The law is not impartial. It is written by people with power to preserve and increase that power. The law is oppressive by default. It will never be ethical to be neutral.

In conclusion, I want a justice who will activist the fuck out of her seat.

I want a justice who will excavate every footnote, wordsmith every dictum, adopt every dissent, and rule broadly instead of narrowly every time in order to give her plaintiff or defendant the complete justice to which they are entitled.

I want a Carolene Products footnote 4 kind of justice.

I want a privacy penumbra-inventing, “substantive due process”-wordsmithing, reverse equal protection-incorporating, prophylactic-propounding, Section 5-enforcing, stare decisis-rejecting, Ta-Nehisi Coates-quoting, Michelle Alexander-citing, umbrella in a rainstorm-analogizing, “nine women on the Court”-endorsing kind of justice.

I want a justice who wants justice.

A Title IX toolkit to stop sexual harassment

image: smiling girls; title: "Let Her Learn: A toolkit to stop school pushout for girls who have experienced sexual harassment"

Sexual harassment should never be the end of anyone’s education. It is a national crisis that one in five girls ages 14-18 have been kissed or touched without their consent, and that only 2% of them report the harassment to their parents, schools, or the police due to fear of victim-blaming and retaliation. And it is unacceptable that when girls do have the courage to come forward, schools often ignore or even punish them instead of investigating their reports of sexual harassment.

That’s why we created Let Her Learn: A Toolkit to Stop School Pushout for Girls Who Have Experienced Sexual Harassment.

This toolkit provides an easy-to-use checklist of yes/no questions, examples, sample dialogue, and acronyms—all written at a 7th grade reading level—to help you advocate for your Title IX rights. For example, Title IX requires your school to investigate all incidents of sexual harassment it knows about to find out whether the harassment has made it harder for students to learn or stay in school—regardless of where it happened, who the harasser is, and what actions the police have taken. Find out how and to whom to report sexual harassment, what accommodations your school should offer, what is required in a fair and trauma-informed investigation, and what retaliation looks like. The toolkit also includes content specific to girls of color, LGBTQ students, pregnant and parenting students, students with disabilities, and students who are English language learners.

Can you use this toolkit if you’re not a girl? Absolutely. Sexual harassment affects girls most often, but it can happen to anyone.

Can you use this toolkit if you’re a college or graduate student? Again, absolutely. Title IX applies to all K-12, college, and graduate students (and college and graduate students have additional rights under the Clery Act).

No matter what Betsy DeVos says, Title IX is still the law of the land, and you still have the right to learn in a safe environment.

Check out the toolkit here.

Kenneth Marcus: alt-civil rights in the age of the alt-right

Originally published by the National Women’s Law Center 

Our Secretary of Education doesn’t believe in public schools. Our president doesn’t believe in facts. Is it any surprise that our nominee for Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights doesn’t believe in civil rights?

Just yesterday, Kenneth Marcus told the Senate that he can’t name a single civil rights violation committed by the Trump administration. This is the man who wants to lead the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR). This is the man who would enforce federal anti-discrimination statutes to ensure that all students have equal access to education.

As Senator Elizabeth Warren put it, “We don’t need someone in this position to do as little as possible to protect as few students as possible.”

Here are six of Marcus’s worst anti-civil rights positions:

1. Marcus supports Betsy DeVos’s attack on sexual assault survivors.

Marcus told the Senate that he agrees with Secretary DeVos’s decision to rescind Title IX guidance on sexual assault. Apparently, he thinks it was a good idea to replace 72 pages of detailed guidance with a scant 10 pages of confusing guidance that gives special rights to accused rapists.

Marcus also claimed that the Office for Civil Rights shouldn’t have required schools to use the preponderance of the evidence standard in Title IX investigations—even though OCR required schools to use the preponderance standard the last time he was in charge. Marcus might be willing to throw sexual assault survivors under the bus in order to get this new job, but we always keep receipts.

2. Marcus doesn’t think Title VI protects undocumented students.

Back in 1982, the Supreme Court ruled that schools can’t deny undocumented children access to public education. The Office for Civil Rights followed up with guidance in 2014, reminding schools that Title VI prohibits discrimination on the basis of a student’s citizenship status.

But at his Senate hearing, Marcus said he didn’t think he would be responsible for protecting undocumented students, claiming (wrongly) that he “lacked jurisdiction.” As the Trump administration continues its attacks on undocumented children, Mexicans, and Muslims, Marcus’s apathy toward undocumented students is incompatible with the purpose of the Office for Civil Rights.

3. Marcus doesn’t think Title IX protects LGBTQ students.

Between the Departments of Education and Justice’s rescission of their transgender guidance, and the White House’s transgender military ban, LGBTQ rights are squarely under attack. But Marcus doesn’t seem to think this is a problem.

In 2004, as Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights, Marcus was outraged by a professor who rebuked a white male student for expressing “conservative Christian views” about homosexuality. He promised to “aggressively prosecute” schools that engaged in what he considered “religious harassment” of conservative Christian students but somehow (very mysteriously) forgot to denounce anti-LGBTQ harassment. Years later, during a USCCR discussion on bullying, including anti-LGBTQ bullying, he again (very mysteriously) forgot to denounce anti-LGBTQ harassment as a form of harassment prohibited by Title IX.

It’s bad enough that Marcus is unlikely to protect LGBTQ students. It’s even worse that he might “aggressively prosecute” schools that discipline anti-LGBTQ harassers, on the basis that these harassers are victims of so-called “religious harassment.” At a minimum, he’s displayed no interest in enforcing the civil rights of students who are harassed or assaulted based on their sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or gender expression.

4. Marcus thinks affirmative action is reverse discrimination.

Affirmative action is a race-conscious (or gender-conscious, etc.) policy that seeks to correct the effects of historical and present-day discrimination. While Marcus supports a “color-blind society,” he doesn’t seem to recognize that colorblindness is in itself a form of racism.

You might be wondering—if you can’t see race, then how do you identify and fight racism? Well, the answer is that you don’t. As Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights, Marcus published a 2004 report encouraging schools to use “race-neutral policies” instead of race-based affirmative action. Later, as Staff Director for the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, he followed up with a 2007 report recommending that law schools no longer be required to “demonstrate a commitment to diversity.”

Why does Marcus oppose affirmative action? It might be because he thinks that “cultural dysfunction” and “family structure”—rather than historical and present-day discrimination—are the primary causes of racial disparity between black and white individuals. It might be because he believes in the myth of reverse-racism (as does his predecessor Candice Jackson), and that race-conscious policies designed to promote workplace equality actually “reflect racial prejudice” against white people.

In any case, Marcus’s views on affirmative action make him unqualified to lead the Office for Civil Rights. Anyone who doesn’t understand how racism works and who holds such regressive racial stereotypes is unfit to lead an agency charged with enforcing protections against racial discrimination.

5. Marcus thinks sexist stereotypes are a legitimate basis for offering single-sex education.

There is overwhelming empirical evidence that single-sex education does not improve educational outcomes and that it reinforces harmful gender stereotypes.  But Marcus does not appear to believe in science or in protecting the Title IX rights of girls and women (don’t worry, he’ll fit right in with the Trump administration).

In 2004, as Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights, Marcus was responsible for single-sex education regulations that invited schools to create separate-and-unequal programs based on pseudoscientific preferences and beliefs—programs that could violate the Constitution’s Equal Protection Clause. Since the regulations were issued, single-sex education has increased sharply in public schools across the country, causing a resurgence of appallingly regressive gender stereotypes in the classroom. It became so alarming that the Department of Education issued guidance in 2014, clarifying that schools cannot rely on “overbroad generalizations” about the ability or preferences of either sex in offering single-sex programs.

“Our kids were basically being taught ideas about gender that come from the Dark Ages,” a parent from Mobile, Alabama reported. In one Pittsburgh kindergarten, boys learned vocabulary by playing basketball and running relay races, while girls learned vocabulary through fairytale stories, wands, and tiaras. In a Wisconsin school district, boys were asked “what would you do,” while girls were asked “how would you feel?”

As the popularity of single-sex education continues to grow, it’s clear that Marcus must not be given a second opportunity as Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights to roll back gender equity further.

6. Marcus doesn’t believe in disparate-impact (unintentional) discrimination.

Before we dive in, let’s do a quick Discrimination 101: People can experience discrimination in one of two forms—disparate treatment or disparate impact—for being a member of a protected class like race, sex, etc. You’re probably familiar with disparate treatment discrimination, which occurs if a policy is explicitly discriminatory (e.g., “whites only” drinking fountains), or if a facially neutral policy is administered in a discriminatory way (e.g., racial disparities in the criminal justice system and in school discipline). In contrast, disparate impact discrimination occurs if a policy is written and administered in a neutral way but still has a disproportionate and unjustified effect on members of a protected class (e.g., the Los Angeles Police Department’s unjustified height requirement). Disparate impact liability is critical to civil rights enforcement because it focuses on proving structural injustice and implementing remedies rather than proving intent or assigning blame.

But Marcus doesn’t agree that disparate impact discrimination is enough on its face to constitute a civil rights violation. Moreover, he believes that disparate impact discrimination is just another way of revealing “hidden discriminatory intent,” rather than a standalone form of structural oppression. Marcus’s reasoning suggests that he fundamentally misunderstands how even neutral policies can “freeze” an oppressive status quo, even if no hidden discriminatory intent exists.

What makes Marcus’s views on disparate impact especially dangerous? Because it’s common knowledge by now that students of color suffer from both disparate treatment and disparate impact discrimination under their schools’ zero-tolerance discipline policies, which lead to more students of color being excluded from school and which exacerbate the school-to-prison pipeline. And yet the Department of Education will probably rescind its 2014 guidance against racially discriminatory discipline practices. This leaves students of color more vulnerable than ever to citations, suspensions, and expulsions that deny their right to equal access to education.

It’s bad enough that Marcus is unlikely to protect students—especially students of color—from disparate impact discrimination. It’s even worse that he might punish schools for taking proactive measures to avoid such discrimination.


To recap, Marcus’s positions condone or support discrimination on the basis of sex, race, color, national origin, immigration status, sexual orientation, and gender identity. There’s no way he should be given a second chance to wreak havoc as Assistant Secretary for against Civil Rights.


You still have rights under Title IX

Originally published by the National Women’s Law Center

Last Friday, Betsy DeVos and the Department of Education rescinded Title IX guidance from 2014 and 2011 on what schools are required to do to protect students from sexual harassment and violence. In their place, the Department issued interim guidance that eviscerated many key protections.

Below, I’ll explain the following:

  • You still have rights under Title IX: which student rights remain protected and which duties schools are still required to carry out despite the new interim guidance
  • Here’s what has changed: how the 2017 interim guidance hurts survivors
  • Here’s what is unclear: how DeVos has made Title IX even more confusing for schools
  • Here’s what you can do to support Title IX: how you can take action today

You still have rights under Title IX

1. Title IX still covers private schools and K-12 schools.

Title IX applies to all schools that receive federal funding—including private colleges and universities that participate in the Federal Student Aid program and most K-12 public schools. If a school knows—or “should reasonably have known”—about the harassment or violence, then it is responsible for addressing the problem. And as per the 2001 guidance—which has not been rescinded, schools have this responsibility even if no formal complaint has been filed and even if there is a concurrent law enforcement investigation.

2. Title IX still protects all students, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Schools must address all incidents of sexual harassment, including same-sex harassment, gender-based harassment, and harassment of male students. While Title IX doesn’t directly ban discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity, the 2001 guidance—which has not been rescinded—is very clear that Title IX protects all LGBTQ students: “sexual harassment directed at gay or lesbian students” and “gender-based harassment, including that predicated on sex stereotyping” are covered by Title IX if it is “sufficiently serious to limit or deny a student’s ability to participate in or benefit from the school’s program.”

3. Title IX still covers off-campus incidents and isolated incidents of harassment.

If harassment creates a “hostile environment” on-campus, then the school is responsible for taking action. This includes harassment that initially occurred on the internet or off campus (e.g., during a field trip, at an away game, at a house party). This also includes harassment by someone who is not a student or employee at the school (e.g., a visiting athlete, a guest speaker). And remember, the harassment does not have to be repeated—a single or isolated incident, like a sexual assault, may be enough to trigger Title IX.

So what is a “hostile environment”? Any environment that “den[ies] or limit[s] a student’s ability to participate in or benefit from the school’s programs or activities.” For example, if a student starts skipping class or drops out of an extracurricular in order to avoid their harasser or rapist, then the school environment has become hostile, and the school needs to respond.

4. Schools are still responsible for having formal Title IX procedures in place.

Schools must meet three procedural requirements: (1) distribute a nondiscrimination policy to all students, employees, and parents (if K-12); (2) designate at least one Title IX coordinator to oversee Title IX compliance; and (3) publish and adopt “grievance procedures” to address sex discrimination (which includes harassment and violence).

5. Investigations must still be “adequate, reliable, and impartial.”

All investigators and adjudicators must be trained on Title IX and sexual harassment/violence, and they cannot have any conflicts of interest. For example, the dean of students, athletics director, and general counsel may have some conflict of interest and should not be an investigator or adjudicator.

Technically, both students must have the same rights and opportunities to participate in the investigation. According to the new interim guidance, both sides must have the same right to present evidence, call witnesses, have a lawyer or advisor attend hearings, have that lawyer or advisor speak at hearings, cross-examine the other side, submit questions for a third party to ask the other side, etc. Both sides must receive written notice before any interview or hearing so that they have enough time to meaningfully prepare. And at the end of the investigation, the school must inform both sides about the outcome at the same time, in writing.

But I said technically. Because the new interim guidance also says that schools have the option of making appeals available only to the perpetrator. In other words, special rights for actual and accused rapists.

6. Schools are still required to disclose the findings of an investigation to both sides at the same time.

As mentioned earlier, schools must inform both sides about the “results” at the same time, in writing, including whether or not they can file an appeal. What are the “results” in a Title IX investigation?

For all investigations, the “results” include whether or not the alleged conduct occurred, what individual remedies are available to the reporting student, and what actions will be taken by the school to eliminate the hostile environment as a whole.

The “results” also include the following:

  • If the investigation is conducted by a K-12 school or if it involves sexual harassment (but not sexual violence) at the college level, then the school must inform the reporting student about any sanctions imposed on the perpetrator that “directly relate” to the reporting student, like a no-contact order.
  • If the investigation involves sexual violence at the college level, then the Clery Act requires schools to inform the reporting student of all sanctions imposed on the perpetrator, regardless of whether or not they “directly relate” to the reporting student.

Despite a common misconception, none of these disclosures violate the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974 (FERPA). Congress has clearly stated that nothing in FERPA “shall be construed to affect the applicability of” Title IX.

Here’s what has changed

1. Schools can now tilt the evidentiary standard in favor of rapists and harassers.

The 2011 guidance had required schools to use the “preponderance of the evidence” standard. This meant that schools were required to determine whether it was “more likely than not” (greater than 50-50 chance) that an alleged perpetrator had violated the code of conduct. But the 2017 guidance says that schools can use either the preponderance standard or the higher “clear and convincing evidence” standard. No one really knows what “clear and convincing” even means—all we know is that it’s greater than 51% but less than 100%.

Why is using the “clear and convincing” standard immensely problematic? In the U.S., nearly all administrative proceedings (like school disciplinary hearings) and judicial proceedings (civil and criminal trials) use the preponderance standard as long as the worst possible outcome does not include prison. This includes all school disciplinary hearings for violations like physical assault and theft, as well as all civil (not criminal) lawsuits for serious offenses like assault and wrongful death. The law recognizes that the preponderance standard is the fairest evidentiary standard to use in these non-criminal hearings, because it gives both sides an equal opportunity to prove that their version of events is “more likely than not.” And Title IX investigations fall into this same category of non-criminal hearings.

People like DeVos like to pretend that Title IX is a criminal law that requires “clear and convincing” or even “proof beyond a reasonable doubt.” But Title IX is NOT a criminal law meant to put rapists in prison. It is a civil law meant to ensure that all students have equal access to education. Title IX does not give schools the power to send rapists or harassers to prison. The absolute most a school can do is expel a student from campus—and that almost never happens.

Look—Title IX isn’t a criminal law by any stretch of the imagination. And the “preponderance of the evidence” standard is the only standard that schools should use in sexual misconduct investigations, because it is the only standard that creates a balanced scale that is equally fair to both sides. But the 2017 guidance wants to tilt that scale in favor of alleged rapists and harassers. It’s saying that not only do sexual abusers deserve more rights than physical abusers and plagiarists, but also that rapists deserve more rights than rape survivors.

2. Schools can make appeals available only to the perpetrator—but not the student who was raped or harassed.

Although the 2011 guidance did not require schools to provide an appeal process, it did require schools to make appeals equally available to both sides. That is, if one side has the right to appeal, then so does the other. But the 2017 guidance allows schools to make appeals available only to the perpetrator.

This is yet another example of DeVos giving alleged rapists special rights. And it directly violates the 2017 guidance’s mandate that “[a]ny rights or opportunities that a school makes available to one party during the investigation should be made available to the other party on equal terms.” Apparently, “equal rights” is just code for “protect rapists.”

This rule also has really damaging consequences for survivors of sexual harassment and violence. First, just knowing that only the perpetrator will be allowed to appeal is a clear signal to survivors that their school won’t be fair to them. The result is that fewer survivors may file a complaint in the first place. Moreover, if a school’s procedures are unfair, and survivors are barred from appealing, then they have no place to turn—unless they decide to embark on an expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally traumatizing lawsuit. And even if the lawsuit is successful, it could take years to get a judgment. In the meantime, the hostile environment remains unaddressed and is likely exacerbated by retaliation from the perpetrator, classmates, and/or school officials. All of this takes a heavy toll on the survivor’s right to get an education—which was supposed to be the whole point of Title IX.

3. Schools may now allow rape survivors to be directly cross-examined by their rapists.

Cross-examination is a way for each side to question the other side’s testimony and evidence. But in a sexual violence case, it can be highly traumatic for a rape survivor to be personally questioned by their rapist. That’s why the 2011 guidance strongly discouraged schools from allowing parties to personally cross-examine each other in sexual violence cases. To avoid perpetuating a hostile environment, schools were urged to ask each side to submit questions to a third party, who would then cross-examine the other side on their behalves.

But the 2017 guidance doesn’t care about re-traumatizing students. It just tells schools that they can allow cross-examination either by the students or by a third party. Survivors may be more likely to drop their case if they know that they’ll be directly cross-examined by their rapist. If they do drop their case, they’ll likely continue to face a hostile environment that interferes with their ability to learn at school. And if they don’t want to drop their case, then the only way they can remedy their current hostile environment is by subjecting themselves to further hostility. It’s a terrible lose-lose situation.

4. Schools are no longer urged to resolve complaints within 60 days.

The 2011 guidance had recommended (but did not require) that schools finish investigations within 60 calendar days. But the 2017 guidance doesn’t mention this time frame at all and specifically says that there is “no fixed time frame” for completing a Title IX investigation.

This is irresponsible af because some K-12 schools and colleges already take far too long to investigate Title IX complaints. Now, DeVos is essentially telling them, “You can take as long as you want. You could even just wait until the student drops out from the trauma. I won’t hold you accountable.”

Here’s what is unclear

1. Schools are no longer instructed not to facilitate mediation between rapists and rape survivors.

Mediation is a way for two (or more) students to sit down together and work out their problems face-to-face. But in a sexual harassment or violence case, it can be highly traumatic for a rape survivor to “work things out” with their rapist when they probably don’t even want to be in the same room as them. That’s why the 2011 guidance explicitly prohibited schools from mediating in sexual assault cases, even if the students came to the table “voluntarily.” As for sexual harassment (not assault), the 2011 guidance was very careful to remind schools not to force students into mediation, and certainly not to mediate without a trained counselor or mediator present.

But DeVos doesn’t care about re-traumatizing students. The 2017 guidance just tells schools that they can facilitate mediation or other informal processes as long as “all parties voluntarily agree.” In doing so, it directly conflicts with the Department’s 2001 guidance—which has not been rescinded. The 2001 guidance clearly states the same rules as the 2011 guidance—that schools are prohibited from mediating sexual assault cases (regardless of whether the parties consent), and that schools must obtain both parties’ voluntary consent and provide trained professionals in order to mediate sexual harassment cases.

It’s not clear whether the 2001 or 2017 guidance should be followed. The problem is that schools are already incentivized to sweep sexual violence under the rug. In fact, the federal government is currently investigating 137 K-12 school districts and 246 colleges and universities for violating Title IX. Under the 2017 guidance’s harmful omissions, schools will be even more incentivized to coerce rape survivors into entering mediation “voluntarily” instead of conducting a proper investigation.

2. Schools are no longer instructed to prohibit cross-examination of rape survivors about their sexual history.

Asking rape survivors about their sexual history used to be a popular and underhanded method of discrediting survivors, blaming them for their own rapes, and re-traumatizing them during court proceedings. That is, until rape shield laws were enacted to prohibit this line of questioning as irrelevant and prejudicial. For similar reasons, the 2011 guidance prohibited schools from questioning students about their sexual history with anyone other than the alleged perpetrator. Furthermore, the 2011 guidance reminded schools that “the mere fact of a … dating or sexual relationship between two parties does not itself imply consent” during the specific incident being investigated. In other words, the 2011 guidance recognized that consent isn’t transferrable; it must be obtained every single time.

Unfortunately, the 2017 guidance doesn’t care about victim-blaming. It deleted the entire section that restricted cross-examination of survivors about their sexual history—leaving things unclear as to whether this line of questioning is permissible or not.

3. Schools are no longer instructed to respect students’ requests for confidentiality.

Students who report harassment often want to keep their identities confidential. They may also not want to pursue formal disciplinary action against their harasser or rapist because they want to focus on school or avoid retaliation from other students. That’s why the 2011 guidance contained detailed instructions for schools on how to respect a reporting student’s request for confidentiality. If a school was able to conduct an informal investigation without disclosing the reporting student’s identity, then it was urged to do so. Schools were instructed to override a student’s request for confidentiality only if they felt that the risk of further harm was too high, and that it was necessary to pursue disciplinary action against the alleged perpetrator. Even so, schools were required to notify the reporting student first before disclosing their identity to the alleged perpetrator.

The 2017 guidance contains zero instructions on confidentiality. It just states that if a school pursues disciplinary action, then the alleged perpetrator should receive written notice of the allegations, “includ[ing] the identities of the parties involved.” By omitting instructions on confidentiality, the 2017 guidance sends a message to schools that protecting student confidentiality is not a priority. In doing so, it deters survivors from reporting and, as a result, impedes schools from effectively monitoring repeat offenders.

However, the Department’s 2001 guidance—which has not been rescinded—is clear that student confidentiality is important. But schools and students wouldn’t know this unless they meticulously inspected the 48-page document, which states: if a student asks the school not to reveal their identity to the alleged perpetrator, then “the school should take all reasonable steps to investigate and respond to the complaint consistent with the student’s request as long as doing so does not prevent the school from responding effectively to the harassment and preventing harassment of other students.”

It’s unclear how the 2001 requirement to respect the survivor’s request for confidentiality jives with the interim guidance’s instructions to reveal the survivor’s identity if seeking disciplinary action. This is yet another example of how DeVos’ guidance makes things more confusing for schools.

4. Schools are no longer instructed to minimize the burden on the student who was harassed when implementing interim measures.

An investigation can take several weeks or even several months to complete. In the meantime, the hostile environment continues to impair the harassed student’s ability to learn. That’s why schools are encouraged to provide interim measures that protect students’ right to learn while the investigation is pending: e.g., extensions on assignments, an escort between classes/activities, modified class schedules to avoid contact between the parties, restrictions on contact between the parties, changes in work or housing locations, leaves of absence, increased campus security and monitoring.

The 2011 guidance was mindful of the fact that the student who was harassed is far more likely to need interim measures than the alleged perpetrator. It specifically reminded schools to minimize the burden on the student who was harassed, and not to remove them from classes or housing while allowing alleged perpetrators to remain.

But the 2017 guidance disingenuously pretends that both parties need the same kind of protection. By requiring schools not to “rely on fixed rules that favor one party over another” when providing interim measures, the 2017 guidance directly conflicts with the Department’s 2001 guidance, which states that “interim measures should be designed to minimize, as much as possible, the burden on the student who was harassed.”

Again, it’s unclear which guidance document wins out. If it’s the 2017 guidance, that may mean that schools can effectively punish students who report harassment by changing their classes or housing, transferring them to an alternative school, or even placing them on an involuntary leave of absence until their perpetrators graduate. Not only does this impair survivors’ right to education, but it also removes them from their support network of friends and dormmates—at a time when they most critically need that support.

Here’s what you can do to support Title IX

The new interim guidance is trash. It hurts survivors, makes schools less safe, and creates uncertainty for school administrators. But here’s the thing – schools can choose not to follow it. Here’s what you can do to help spread the word:

  • Sign our pledge: Do whatever it takes to #StopBetsy and the Trump administration from enshrining rape culture as official U.S. Department of Education policy.
  • Ask your school administrators to adhere to the 2011 and 2014 guidance. If they have questions, you can share our easy-to-read fact sheets with them (see below).
  • Ask your school’s Title IX coordinator to adhere to the 2011 and 2014 guidance. Share these fact sheets with them too.

Fact sheets (~2 pages each):

  • Mythbusting Title IX: Dispel 8 common myths about Title IX
  • Sexual Violence & Title IX: What schools must do to address sexual violence
  • FERPA & Title IX: Despite what some schools believe, disclosures required by Title IX do not conflict with the Family Educational Records Privacy Act (FERPA).
  • LGBTQ Students & Title IX: Title IX prohibits gender-based harassment—harassment based on a student’s nonconformity with stereotypes of masculinity and femininity, which includes sexual orientation and gender identity.
  • Cyberbullying & Title IX: Schools are required to address sexual harassment that occurs via text messages, instant/direct messages, emails, videos, social media pages, etc.

Sex is like boxing

See Facebook post and rape apologist comments here. Republished at DailyO.

​There's a rape joke that goes like this: "Every woman has that one moment when you think -- ope, here’s my rape! This is it!"[1]

Well, this is mine. [CW: SEXUAL ASSAULT]

My hope is that it will help you understand how insidious and ubiquitous sexual assault actually is, and how crucial Title IX is. This morning, Betsy DeVos just rolled back Title IX, announcing that schools can use a higher standard of proof for sexual misconduct violations than for other violations like physical assault and plagiarism. In other words -- accused rapists get special rights.[2]

About two months ago while studying for the bar exam, I swiped right on the "perfect" match -- Harvard Law graduate, recent Democratic Party candidate, professor at a top law school, self-professed social justice advocate. We met up at a bar in Center City. As it turned out, we shared the same leftist political values and 30 mutual friends on fb.

The bar was emptying, so he suggested we go to the rooftop of his apartment complex. I'd been there many times to visit Wharton friends, so I said why not -- we were in the middle of a great conversation. But the rooftop turned out to be closed, so he suggested we go back to his apartment unit instead. I flagged this as a potential bait-and-switch, but I agreed because I wanted to keep talking. (But why does that even matter? Why am I already defending myself?)

After maybe an hour of talking in the living room, I decided I wasn't staying. So I announced: "I'm going home now." He looked at me and, without saying anything, kissed me. I kissed him back. Then I stood up and repeated more firmly, "OK, but I'm actually leaving now." He looked at me and, again without saying anything, picked me up, carried me into his bedroom, and pinned me to the bed.

It happened too fast for me to react. Women are conditioned to minimize their own discomfort, maintain social harmony, and avoid conflict. So I laughed. And then I said for the 3rd time, "I told you, I'm leaving right now. I'm not joking." I tried to push him off of me.

He didn't move. He continued lying on top of me without moving, kissing me as I tried to push him off. I extricated myself by peeling myself out from underneath him. He never moved. I stood up. "OK I'm leaving," I said for the 4th time. I walked back into the living room toward the door. When I reached the door, he grabbed my arm and dragged me back to the bed. He was laughing.

That's when I realized -- he didn't even realize that he was assaulting me. He thought he was being "sexy" and "manly." I wrenched my arm out of his grasp and went back into the living room to put on my shoes. I was still pretty calm on the exterior because it's really difficult to process that someone doesn't give a fuck about your consent when you were just talking about social justice advocacy a few minutes ago.

I told him, "I'm not playing hard to get with you. Maybe you think I am. I'm not." He finally stopped smiling. I left.

As I walked home, I called a close friend (thank you I love you) to process what had just happened. I have been a trained advocate for sexual assault survivors for 7 years -- I know what rape myths are. I know what victim blaming is. But still I felt the need to apologize repeatedly to my friend on the phone for being so upset -- I was "fine" and "nothing" happened and "it could have been worse."

But here's the thing -- my date could have raped me without even knowing it. Remember, he was laughing. And then, if I had reported him, he probably would have accused me of lying because I "regretted" it.

It took me 3 hours on the phone with my friend to finally fall asleep -- 1 hour of angry rehashing and 2 hours of listening mindlessly to him tell me about the detailed history of the British Empire (thank you that was amazing, please start a podcast).

The next morning, my almost-rapist texted me to ask why I had unmatched him on the dating app. He wanted to "talk." I said fine, call me. He was worried. "I get the feeling that you were upset at me last night. What happened?"

"I know what happened. What do you think happened?" I asked him.

He punted. "I think I have an idea, but I would rather hear it from you." Translation: He didn't want to admit to any more wrongdoing than what I was upset at him for. He didn't want to verbalize and confront the possibility that he wasn't a Good Person.

So I started talking/yelling at him about consent and what he did wrong each time I said I was leaving. He had so many excuses. "But it was late .... and you came to my place ... I thought you were just playing hard-to-get ... But most girls ..." It was your textbook Justin Bieber what-do-you-mean bullshit.

I was livid. Why would you ever want to have sex with someone who said no to you five times on the off-chance that they maybe meant yes?

And, how many other women have you done this to? Were any of them too drunk or afraid to push you away? (I don't drink because my alcohol allergy gives me heart palpitations, but my level of sobriety is absolutely irrelevant to his conduct.)

45 minutes later, I became tired of his non-apologies. I told him I had to hang up and start my day.

And then, the most magical thing happened. He asked me for a second date because he was "really disappointed" about how things turned out. Fuck out of here. You almost raped me and now you're "really disappointed" we won't go out again?

Rape culture is real. It teaches men that a woman who says no repeatedly and who is actively trying to push you off of her is just "flirting." It teaches men to believe that when she resists, she just wants you to overpower her -- i.e., rape her. Rape culture teaches us that men can't be raped (because men always want sex) and that sex workers can't be raped (because sex workers are always available to anyone and everyone). Rape culture teaches us that survivors lie.

But rape and assault happen all the time.

Maybe what happened to me has happened to you.

Maybe what my date did to me is something you have done to other people. Maybe this possibility makes you uncomfortable.

​Jon Oliver ​recently used this analogy: "Sex is like boxing. If both people didn't agree to participate, one of them is committing a crime."[3] If you want to box with someone, and they say "no," and you punch them anyways, that's not boxing -- that's physical assault. If you want to have sex with someone, and they say "no," and you touch/have sex with them anyways, that's not sex -- that's sexual assault.

If you disagree with me, or you think it was even partially my fault, I strongly urge you to reconsider. Not for me, but for the people you love. The "1 in 5" statistic is real.[4] Statistically, someone you love (statistically, a woman) has experienced some form of attempted or completed sexual assault at least once in their life.

When you engage in victim-blaming, you are telling that person whom you love, "You can't talk to me about your assault. I won't believe you. It was your fault. Your rapist is still my friend."

​Ending sexual violence is on all of us. It's on you -- especially men. Check yourself and go get your friends.


​​[1] Ever Mainard, a Chicago-based female comedian.​ The rest of her skit is racist as hell, so I'm not linking to it #whitefeminism. But speaking of rape jokes, if you want to tell one, make sure the punchline is the rapist, not the survivor. In other words, punch up, not down.

​​[2] All civil proceedings use the preponderance of the evidence standard. The Supreme Court has only ​ever ​applied a greater-than-preponderance standard in civil suits where deprivations akin to incarceration, like deportation and involuntary psychiatric confinement, were at stake.​ ​Title IX consequences do not come anywhere close to incarceration, involuntary confinement, or deportation. You can find the new guidance here: https://www2.ed.gov/…/fron…/faq/rr/policyguidance/index.html.

[3] I’m not sure if ​Oliver came up with it or merely popularized it. Sex Education: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver​, HBO​ (Aug. 9, 2015), available at ​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0jQz6jqQS0​.​​​

[4] In 2007, a Department of Justice research agency found that 1 in 5 women experience attempted or completed sexual assault during college, where sexual assault is defined as sexual battery or rape, not merely verbal harassment. The Campus Sexual Assault (CSA) Study, National Institute for Justice xiii, 3-14 (Oct. 2007), available at https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/221153.pdf.

Fuck centrism

If you say you love this country, then you must understand that America has always been like this — it was founded on white supremacy [1], and it will continue slouching toward its violent white supremacist ends unless we use all of our power to destroy it.

If you say you love this country, then use your love to imagine a wholly different world — one where we work together to dismantle not only white supremacy, but also the white supremacist imperialist capitalist ableist cisheteropatriarchy. [2]

Not sure what these words mean? Not sure if they are actual, real problems? Google them. Read this. Before you draw false equivalences, propagate strawman arguments, and swallow the myths of American exceptionalism, do your homework. All of the research has already been conducted, all the literature has already been written, and all the conversations have already been had. [3] Go read them, and inform yourself. Before we learn to imagine the new, we must unlearn the old. [4]

Not comfortable with these words because they are too “extreme”? Oppose Trump, yet prefer a more “centrist, moderate” approach? Then be honest with yourself about what you are willing to stand against, and what you are willing to tolerate.

Look. Centrism protects the status quo. Centrism is an accomplice to oppression. Centrism sticks its head in the sand and pretends that oppressors and oppressed wield the same power. Centrism equates destruction of property with destruction of human life. Centrism sends one police unit to protect KKK/Nazi “protesters” and another to open fire on Black/Brown/Indigenous protesters. Centrism mourns the death of a single white woman more than the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Black and Brown people.[5] Centrism says, “Be patient. You haven’t suffered enough yet.”

Fuck centrism. [6]

If you say you love this country, then understand that “justice is what love looks like in public.” [7] If you want to learn more about what justice looks like, start here (literally click anywhere).

We are now at a precipice. One day, when you are old and grey, will you look back upon your life knowing that you did not speak up when it mattered — because it was easier to stay silent, because centrism was more comfortable, more convenient?

Or will you be at peace knowing that you helped write new laws, save lives, and build a new social order — that you helped alter the course of your country forever? [8]

[1] See, e.g., Indigenous genocide, Indigenous land theft, slavery, Jim Crow, redlining, prison exception to 13th amendment, Chinese Exclusion Act, Japanese internment, U.S. covert/overt interference in other democratic regimes. This is obviously a non-exhaustive list. Also, by “America,” I mean “the United States of America” because America is the name of 2 continents.

[2] See bell hooks, Understanding Patriarchy. Note: there are many other -isms I have omitted.

[3] Scott Woods, “A Conversation On Race Is A Horrible Goal” (Nov 11, 2015), (“A conversation is a horrible goal. I’m not interested in having your version of a race conversation. . . . I want your race activism. . . . I don’t want to have any more conversations as goals. All of the necessary conversations have been happening. We published the conversations. We recorded the conversations on video. We turned the conversations into poems and memes and songs and TV shows. We gave the conversations away for free. We put the conversations in all of your libraries​. .​ . . We codified the conversations and made them classes and presentations and conferences. . . . All you got to do is sit down and listen.”).​

​[4] Nancy Scheibner, “The Art of Making Possible” (“And the purpose of history is to provide a receptacle / For all those myths and oddments / Which oddly we have acquired / And from which we would become unburdened / To create a newer world / To transform the future into the present.”).

[5] See, e.g., Hari Ziyad, “Heather Heyer and the white ‘allies’ who have ‘done more’ than us for our own liberation” (Aug 15, 2017).

[6] See Martin Luther King, Jr., “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” (Apr 16, 1963) (“I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: ‘I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action’; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a ‘more convenient season.'”).

[7] Cornel West, “Justice Is What Love Looks Like in Public.”

[8] Audre Lorde, “Your Silence Will Not Protect You” (“I was going to die, if not sooner then later, whether or not I had ever spoken myself. My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you. . . . Our speaking out will irritate some people, get us called bitchy or hypersensitive and disrupt some dinner parties. And then our speaking out will permit other women to speak, until laws are changed and lives are saved and the world is altered forever.”).

Stop white supremacy

A lot of Black and Brown and Muslim people were murdered recently.

Stop white supremacists. Stop anti-Blackness. Stop Islamophobia. Stop xenophobia. Stop the police. Don’t stop reading yet —

1. If you’re not an alt-right white supremacist, why are you mad? I wasn’t talking about you.

2. Wait no, I was talking about you. I was talking about all of us. This isn’t just about white people (even though it often is). Anti-Blackness is everywhere. The police officer and self-appointed vigilante who killed Philando Castile and Trayvon Martin, respectively, are Hispanic. The police officer who killed Akai Gurley is Asian American. Three of the six police officers who killed Freddie Gray are black. (None of them are in prison.)

3. We are all complicit.

When we talk about “bad/sketchy/ghetto” neighborhoods, but we just mean “not white.” When we “don’t see color” but all of our friends are white or light-skinned. When “some of our best friends” are Black/Brown/Muslim/gay/bi/trans, but we wouldn’t want to fuck them. When we would want to fuck them, but we wouldn’t want to marry them.

When we smoke pot on the weekends and take molly at Coachella but also think unarmed Black men are dangerous for selling pot or cigars. When everything in our IG and Snap is #lit, goals, bae, and YASSSS, but Black people who speak African American Vernacular English are “uneducated.”

When we change our Facebook photo to stand with Paris but not with Beirut or Baghdad. When we pull our #DicksOutForHarambe and want #JusticeforCecil but don’t know about #FinsburyPark or #NabraHassanen or #CharleenaLyles. When animal deaths make us sad but not human deaths.

When we love that new expensive white-owned “fusion” restaurant, but don’t want to pay more than $7 at an immigrant-owned Chinese/Mexican/Arab/etc. restaurant.

When we think Arab mass murderers are “terrorists,” but white mass murderers are “gunmen” and “van drivers” with “mental illnesses” in no way radicalized by fundamentalist Christianity / Reddit / Breitbart.

When we think it’s okay to bomb Syria to protect its children from chemical weapons but that’s definitely not the same thing as Syria hypothetically bombing us to protect our children from being chemically poisoned by elected officials in Flint, MI, or to protect Indigenous people from being gassed by police officers at Standing Rock.

When we say Islam oppresses women with the hijab and the driving ban, but we love celebrities who rape, beat, and sexually harass women like Kobe Bryant, Casey Affleck, and Bill Clinton (don’t fight me on this, just google it please).

When we talk about how Democrats have alienated the “working class,” when we really mean the “white working class,” as if Black and Brown people and immigrants aren’t part of the working class.

When we say we don’t like “identity politics” or “silly bathroom bills” and would rather focus on the “real issues,” like “the economy,” as if the white working class isn’t an “identity.” As if police brutality and vigilante violence aren’t “real issues.” As if safety for transgender people in bathrooms without fear of being murdered by transphobic people isn’t a “real issue.” As if loss of income and wealth from employment discrimination and housing discrimination aren’t “economic issues.”

When we heap praise on white / non-Black / non-Muslim, etc. people for allyship but don’t give the same credit to Black and Brown mostly women and LGBTQ folks who have been saying the same thing for decades and centuries.

When we say MLKJ would have wanted protesters to be “more peaceful,” even though Dr. King was considered a radical in his day. Even though he said the greatest threat to racial equality was not the KKK but “the white moderate” who agrees with your goals but not with your methods/tone. (The same Dr. King who called America the “greatest purveyor of violence in the world.”)

4. If you agree with my post but think I’m being “too aggressive,” I will refer you back to what MLKJ said about moderates. Don’t create a false equivalence between criticism of violence and actual violence.

I wish I could also say that I don’t care if you think I’m being an aggressive anti-white/anti-male bitch/etc. I care a lot, but fuck it because as the brilliant Nayyirah Waheed wrote:

might make them angry,
it will make you free.
– if no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger.

5. If you want to learn more, I can recommend some great insta accounts to follow. DM me 🙂

If you would like to put your money where your hashtags are, consider donating to the families of Nabra Hassanen, Charleena Lyles, and Philando Castille.

If you would like the system to change, please VOTE in every election, not just the presidential one. Your state and local officials are often the ones legislating (and adjudicating) on policing, education, housing, etc.

6. Nothing I said here is original — thank you to the brilliant and tireless advocates (almost all of whom are Black women, NB women of color, and LGBTQ women of color) who educate and inspire me every day on FB and IG.